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The Big White Whale

by Vinny Vegas

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1.
Highs & Lows 06:56
For those with reasons to say you're only as good as the merits you claim for years it came in waves leaving for months and returning for days My bones are brittle and stale just framing that holds what's weakened by wear but still we beg to know what it's like to live by highs and lows Old habits are getting worse than they have ever been I think that maybe if I can leave I won't have time for them but there has gotta be a place where I can go to stop these shaky knees and sweaty palms from being part of me to stop an anxious brain that never sleeps and make it calm again there has gotta be a place where I can go to feel at peace again and know that the pieces won't be perfect but together they can still make perfect wholes I paced it and still I grew tired of waiting for the high points to grow old Given the time to grow a vision I'd give you a vision worth the pace so show me the burdens I've been weighing and I'll show you a passion worth their weights till then… fall in line… just like this put your tongue between your teeth shut your mouth and just agree fold your hands on to your knees mind your backbone and just agree or you can take the things you learn and show them to the world cause that's all you owe
2.
I saw the products of a privileged life had a house with a yard, two kids and a wife I saw the products of a fragile mind left with all this aggression and too much time and I can only be the one to say that I would only be the one to say that I should only be the one to say where it stops and where it ends Still the product of the passing days with a tongue I hold too tight in fear of what it says still a child in the way I think and I'll be until I'm not Keep on counting on the passing days and keep ignoring each important phrase they're only moments and it's only time and it's surely yours to waste Pull my carcass from the big white whale leave me limber, and dripping and cold as hell poach my pockets of post it notes if it's where i'm meant to stay I would never be the same Till I start to think that I should stop Pounding my heals through the soles of my shoes let the rocks on the ground push the dirt through the grooves back would be straight and your jaw would be loose as the air in your lungs tells the sound where to move how do you stop when they tell you to go? how do you go when they're telling you no, it's all a waste of time. until it's not it's all in watching the patterns weave it's all in watching the patterns weave it's all in watching the patterns weave it's all in watching the patterns weave
3.
Counting the hours I've spent of my life in the seat the crease in the cushion, forming to me making my way to the island through Kings and Queens Both counties and boroughs are passing with jingling keys Finding myself 4 hours away and though it's familiar, it's not quite the same the steady line files, I settle in place to play my role when... I wake up in a bed I don't fit anymore and I look outside, to the lights coming in through the door slowly my legs start to walk, to the hall when they suddenly stop From the top of the stairs, I saw things that shape me still to this day like the lights that line the edge of the fireplace where white drapes meet blue velvet couches Now my time here is long gone and it can't be like it was now my body's here, but I'm not on the day they turn to you you'll just hope you can be there you will, you will, cause someone would for you
4.
There's these precautions we take when we walk on the waves waiting till it's safe in the ocean can this magic exist without orchestration? Can we be without flaws? never to find our greener hearts, paper ribs, rubber sternums I've made mistakes I'm sure but now it seems so clear there are no real mistakes just guides that brought you here
5.
Claws 03:15
No one seems to see the effect this has had on me and I had expressive ideas and I spoke with a fervor to make you believe in me 60 months with no direction met with critics and claims Details given such poor attention confusing faces with names Always wait and you'll find you're always waiting on everyone else never move and you'll find there's no one left to move but yourself All of your dreams can come true when they do you will find, they're not meant only for you My time is wasted unless I spend it well! I either face this or I just lie to myself and watch so called mistakes repeating all again the one's I used to say made me really know, what I really know and I'll always know, I should have always known MY G-D this clawing at me focus, you're here then you leave take this as far as you can patience is all we used to say Nobody ever tells you not to try but you're the only one who has to live your life and so you can expand or just contradict yourself.
6.
Always moving never towards the places you want to go and always thought you'd be finding silence arms out stretched using the clothing cuff to hide your fingertips Laying still in a room with a ceiling that covers my view take some time here to think of the world you wish you could create it's a place you have been and in time you can get there again put the flat of your back on the floorboards where you can relax Give it time, think it through There were far better options for you not the same as it's been in a while, you'll be there again Give it days, Give it weeks give it all that you think that it needs Keep your arms at your sides and keep moving in imperfect strides Be Open Be Open Be Open Be Open
7.
Of all the ways to crumble up you would choose the ones that you loved too much romanticize the life you show tell them only things you want them to know I'll speak my piece, then let it be negativity only cheapens me I'll breathe it out, then breathe in again just like you always told me to say these things out loud and don't be surprised when you hear them said by someone else And later on, I'll remember this as the turning point that I almost missed when I thought too hard or I stayed too long cause I thought it all had meaning To a life we almost had had our eyes not been closed just think of all we could have seen But I was scared to know, I'm still scared to know So there I was in a room just the way it's always been when it's scarce, I'm aware I'm always conscious of these things Now at night, when I sleep I won't be afraid I know what's there, and what waits for me Don't look over there, it isn't real the things you see are only figments of a place you'll never be you close your eyes, it goes away and there you are to never ever have to think of it again if who I was and who I am are not the same, then why then why, then why why be afraid? why be afraid? I'm not afraid, don't be afraid just open your eyes, just stop and open your eyes This was real, I was here and at times I thought it was how I was going to stay but in truth, it was me all along, I was the one who would keep it that way
8.
Afro Feet 04:54
Stop. Start again Have I made my intentions clear? Have I followed through? or waited too long? You can craft every phrase every sentence in perfect ways but all that it shows is patience for prose I used to wait for the lines just to fall in place but now that I don't, well I can say What I was trying to say when these constant concerns for reactions just got in the way you speak so slow but speak so well can you now convince yourself you are all you"ll have to sell I was trying to say all that needed to be said but I never ran before I crawled How does it feel to get all that out? I should know by now I've been here before these stories were real but now, what am I left with to show if all that I am is always exposed.
9.
The less I own, the better off I can be free to go where I please but where do I need to be that isn't right here my feet are planted in the earth and I'm a patron to the sun my skin is carpet for the leaves and with my chapped and chalky cheeks I'm a mass of imposition, with these limits I can't squeeze It took me seven years of writing everything down to fully understand the words Now I'll clear my walls I'll throw out my books and I'll start it over again Finally it feels like a bigger part of me can be calm between the breeze I found the beauty in believing that days I number make me wise I found a comfort in the struggle and learned the words were never mine

credits

released November 5, 2013

Instrumentation:
Scott Siskind - Vocals and Guitar
Earl Carter - Guitar and Vocals
Aaron Emmanuel Lee - Keys and Vocals
Travis Lockhart - Bass
Jason Cohen - Drums

Recorded in Baltimore, MD by J. Robbins, Justin Fogelman, and Earl Carter

Mixed by J. Robbins

Mastered by Carl Saff

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Vinny Vegas Baltimore, Maryland

Vinny Vegas is a 5 piece rock band from Baltimore, MD, USA. Living proof that a musical act can thrive without abandoning the DIY aesthetic, the band has self-released three critically acclaimed E.P’s and self-booked/funded many tours over their five-year existence. With each release, Vinny Vegas has shown the kind of growth that can only occur when artists maintain control over their own career. ... more

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